Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Dating is Hairy Scary!

A man once told me that a woman he had met had used her high school pic on the dating site and she was now 50 something years old.  Okay, that's quite a stretch - I dare anyone to think they look absolutely the same as they did in high school.  Over 40 years?  I actually looked way better in my 30's than I did back in high school.

However, I have to admit that the pic I use on all my accounts, i.e., Twitter, Facebook, etc., is not as recent as it should be.  But being from an entertainment background, I know you're supposed to lead with your best foot (pic) forward.  So, yeah, my pic is 21 years old.  Of course I've changed, but I didn't realize how different others see me than I see myself until I showed up for a date and the guy didn't recognize me and thought I was the waitress!

His pic was only a year old, but he too looked totally different in real life.  Not as burly teddy bear as he appeared on film.  A much smaller man than I normally prefer.  He was no Brad Pitt, but pretty men don't turn me on anyway, so it wasn't going to be a problem for me.  After the initial shock, he seemed to be okay and we had a nice day.  But, apparently, he was being overly polite or didn't have the guts to say, you're not what I expected so let's just call it a meal.  

Nine years ago I lost my eldest son in the army and I literally turned gray in a matter of hours.  I colored it and the majority of it never returned, but I do have grays occasionally pop up in various places.  I try to keep up the hair cuts and the perms (so my hair at least looks the same as in my pics).  I know I need to exercise and get back into a healthier rhythm and I have great plans to do so (don't we all!).  I'm also in the middle of getting my teeth fixed because whomever said you only get two sets never met me or my kid!  So I've had to go have a bunch pulled out every once in a while because there are too many in my mouth.  It's a slow project due to having no dental insurance (self-employed writer here), so I have to pay as I go.  But I'm not some weird-looking Hillbilly who doesn't brush or floss.

But, even to this day, when I pass in front of a mirror, I stop and ask that woman there, "Who are you and what have you done with Jordan?!" (I know you're not supposed to use a question mark and an exclamation point together, but it feels so good!)  The loss of my son has taken a toll on me all the way around, but that's no excuse for me not to try and stay on top of things.  It's just, good looks don't guarantee happiness.  When I was (as my long time friends say) "smokin' hot", I still didn't date much or have a ton of guys falling all over themselves to ask me out.  I've always been focused on my writing and directing.  But I have had my share of heartache, bad dates, good dates and I was even married for 11 years.  I divorced back in 1985 and haven't been looking to remarry, even though the ex did.

Apparently growing up or age doesn't change the fact that women are audio creatures (hence we love deep voices and ugly rock stars) and men are visual creatures who think they are entitled to Victoria's Secret models (regardless of what the man looks like!).  Sure, everyone is attracted to good looks, don't get me wrong there, but by this age haven't we earned the right to have wrinkles?  Our body shape less than beach material?  And besides, you know - don't you - that all the pics they use on those dating sites are not real people looking for love (or sex) but models hired for the shoot?

Just like the majority of money is held only by 1% of the American population - George Clooney/Angelina Jolie - looks also belong only to 1% of the population and the rest of us are just normal.  Face it, if people only held out for movie star-like spouses (that they seriously believe they deserve), the population would die out!  So let's hear it for normal people who smile and laugh and love and bring color and excitement and children to an otherwise dull world.

And screw the good-looking freaks!

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